Taissa Farmiga

Review of “The Nun II”

There are two topics of discussion guaranteed to destroy the mood of any gathering: Politics and religion. It’s best to keep conversations on mundane topics like the weather, your/their work and how the local sports teams are doing (unless they are losing, then that should be avoided). In our increasingly divided society, politics is best left to the pundits on TV and religion should be kept within each of our hearts. We should live by the principles of our chosen faith but keep the proselytizing away from family and social gatherings. Maybe you can ask if anyone has seen a ghost or believes spirits haunt places. According to a survey published by the website Statista taken in 2021, 36% of Americans believe in ghosts. According to USA Today, also from 2021, 43% of Americans believe in demons. It’s likely in a gathering of 10 or more people, you’ll find three or four that believe and may have an experience to share. An entire movie universe has been spun out of our fascination with the afterlife. The ninth film in “The Conjuring” franchise is “The Nun II.”

Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), following her battle against the Demon Nun (Bonnie Aarons) at Saint Carta’s monastery, is living at a convent in Italy. Meanwhile in France, a priest is lifted off the ground and burst into flames in front of altar boy Jacques (Maxime Elias-Menet). After the priest’s death, a lone figure is seen walking away from the church, casting the shadow of the Demon Nun. At a boarding school in France, Maurice (Jonas Bloquet), who was also working at Saint Carta, is now the handyman. He is very close with several of the girls (but not in a creepy way) especially Sophie (Katelyn Rose Downey) and her mother Kate (Anna Popplewell) who teaches at the school. The death of the priest in France is just the latest in a series of unusual deaths of priests and nuns that bear a resemblance to the death of all the nuns at Saint Cartha. A Vatican representative travels to Irene’s convent and asks her to investigate. Joining her uninvited on the journey is novitiate Sister Debra (Storm Reid) who is questioning her faith and if she’s in the right place. Irene and Debra learn the Demon Nun is looking for an ancient relic that is hidden in a former convent that is now a boarding school in France. The nuns race against time to find the relic that would give the Demon Nun enormous power.

Three “Conjuring” films, three “Annabelle” films, one “La Llorona” film and now two “The Nun” films. Some audience members and critics complain there are no original ideas coming out of Hollywood. There are (“Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” are two good examples), but films based on established intellectual properties (also known as IP) tend to be an easier thing to sell to moviegoers. There are exceptions, like the recent “Flash” film that will cost its studio Discovery/Warner Bros. hundreds of millions of dollars in losses. “Blue Beetle” likely is also going to lose money. Even the Marvel/Disney juggernaut has lately been coming up short in box office receipts. But “The Conjuring” franchise is the closest thing to a guaranteed profit in all of entertainment. Over the previous eight films, their total budgets are $178.5 million. Their total worldwide box office is $2.1 billion. We don’t have a production budget for “The Nun II” but the first “The Nun” cost $22 million so let’s estimate the cost of the sequel is $30 million. From opening day and Thursday previews, the film has grossed $13.1 million and is projected to earn north of $30 million in its opening weekend. With a franchise where each film earns on average five and a half times its production budget worldwide, plus DVD sales, VOD sales and rentals and the sale of rights to streaming platforms, it’s little wonder this franchise has continued to spit out film after film. While the bean counters in Hollywood corporate suites will find “The Nun II” to be a winner, what about audiences?

There’s a thing called the law of diminishing returns and “The Conjuring” franchise, and specifically “The Nun II,” has broken that law. I love a good horror movie. Any film that can raise my pulse, cause me to grip the armrest of my seat, give me a good jump scare and leave me exhausted as the credits roll is a winner to me. I find both “The Nun II” and its predecessor to be dull. While the sequel is an improvement, the back story of the demon, named Valak thanks to “The Conjuring 2,” isn’t compelling enough to provide the audience with a reason to care. And her desire for the relic isn’t explained either. Valak seems to be plenty powerful without it, presenting itself in one form then another and able to control its human host with ease.

Taissa Farmiga is very good at giving a look of wide-eyed fear, but the script by Ian Goldberg, Richard Naing and Akela Cooper gives her otherwise very little to do. Storm Reid is likewise wasted in an underwritten role as the young nun questioning her faith. That story thread is ignored after being mentioned when we first meet her. Perhaps the most fleshed out character is Maurice, played by Jonas Bloquet. He has a budding romantic interest in Anna Popplewell’s Kate, the mother of Katelyn Rose Downey’s Sophie. His interactions with most of the other girls at the school are playful and friendly without drifting into groomer territory. He also is willing to protect Sophie from the girls that bully her. Bloquet is more the star of “The Nun II” simply because his character is far more interesting than the demon-fighting nuns.

Valak should be a fantastic scary monster, but she is at most just a weird looking nun. With a stark, white face, glowing eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth, Valak has all the tools to be the stuff of nightmares. Sadly, the script also lets her down as it never establishes her power set. In the opening scene she levitates a priest off the ground and sets him ablaze. Later, she grabs Irene by the throat but there’s no fire, no throwing her from wall to wall, nothing indicating Valak is any more powerful than a strong man. Why could she set the priest on fire but not Irene? Is Irene more holy or more blessed than the priest? Since Irene defeated Valak in the first film one would think the demon would have more reason to kill her than some average priest (a reason is given why the people she’s killing are her targets but that gets into spoilers). The screenwriters don’t seem to be keeping up with what Valak can and cannot do and to whom.

This lack of consistency within the character gets to the heart of the problem with this franchise: The creators churn them out so fast they don’t try to keep them consistent. It’s what some people complain about with the “Star Trek” franchise. The TV shows adhere to canon most of the time. If it happened on the original 1960’s series, it is referred to as the history of future series. There are occasional tweaks to make modern storylines work and still pay homage to the past, but you don’t have full reboots of canon events just so an episode works (just ignore the Kelvan universe in this example). “The Nun II” pays very little attention to what Valak’s abilities and powers are even from one scene to the next. It’s frustrating as the film plays out with this seemingly all-powerful demon being limited to blowing out candles and burning out lightbulbs in one scene, then setting a character on fire the next.

“The Nun II” is rated R for violent content and some terror. A priest is burned alive. Another character is set ablaze but is saved. We see photos of other priests and nuns killed in various way. A character is grabbed by the throat and lifted off the ground. A character is slammed to a stone floor and their head bashed a couple of times into it. A woman is beaten with an incense burner used in Catholic mass then is killed by a piece of construction equipment falling on her head. Children are chased by a humanoid goat and one child is gored in the chest. Foul language is either infrequent or non-existent.

“The Nun II” is a blah film. It exists merely to add to the tally of “The Conjuring” franchise total box office. I don’t know why these films are getting so boring, but they are. I hope the title for the next film, “The Conjuring: Last Rites,” is an omen that perhaps these films are coming to an end, but I doubt it. They will have to start consistently losing money before Discovery/Warner Bros. puts this franchise out to pasture. I suppose I can only hope they either quit making them or they get better.

“The Nun II” gets two stars out of five.

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Review of “The Nun”

When a nun commits suicide at St. Carta Monastery in Romania in 1952, the Vatican sends Father Burke (Demian Bichir) to investigate the death. Burke is an exorcist and has a long history dealing with supernatural phenomenon. Along with Burke is Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), a novitiate who has experienced visions for most of her life and hasn’t taken her final vows. When they arrive in Romania they are shown to the monastery by Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet), a French-Canadian living in Romania that delivers supplies to the nuns but has never sees any of them. Frenchie discovered the dead nun hanging by a rope in front of the abbey. Frenchie bring Burke and Irene to the monastery but quickly leaves. The nuns are standoffish and reluctant to assist in their investigation; but, slowly they begin to uncover the dark secrets of St. Carta, including the presence of a shadowy figure dressed as a nun that wanders the halls. She isn’t a nun. She is the demon Valak (Bonnie Aarons).

Looking at it from the outside there’s a great deal to like in “The Nun.” It has “The Conjuring” series of films to kind of vouch for it, it has a creepy location in a medieval castle and it has a tall, willowy nun with glowing eyes and a stark, white face as the main antagonist. All that’s necessary is a decent story and some quality scares and “The Nun” would be a great new addition to the franchise. Maybe next time.

“The Nun” takes the easy way out, sending characters down dark hallways and into spooky cross-filled forests with only a lantern or candle to light the way. Invariably, something jumps out at them, on them or they fall into a pit. It happens so frequently you begin to wonder if the characters aren’t paying any attention. You ask yourself, “Didn’t they learn to ignore the whispered voice or not chase the shadowy figure the last time this happened?” They don’t, and the ultimate evil demon scares them but doesn’t kill or possess them. It becomes laughable after a time.

It is a technically a well-made movie, but it is emotionally vacant. While I started out interested in the fates of the three main characters and the nuns in the convent, I quickly grew bored as there’s no one that grabs your attention and makes you care about their journey. The most interesting character is probably Frenchie so of course he disappears for most of the middle section of the film. It doesn’t help that everyone in the movie is so dumb as to follow every weird thing they see or hear.

Our antagonist is also wasted when she shows up. The Nun, or Valak, is a demon from Hell bent on escaping the castle and spreading her evil across the world in service to Satan (I guess as we’re never told what her mission or goal is). She is shown floating down a hallway, as a shadow on a wall, a reflection in a mirror, etc., yet all these incarnations appear unable to defeat a priest and a nun. As these films require, she comes close as the story enters its finale, but (spoilers) she is defeated. As she’s part of “The Conjuring” films she must survive to infest the homes and dreams of people in the future so there’s really no surprise that she is beaten but shows up in a tag at the end of the movie.

The story follows all the usual beats of a modern horror flick and doesn’t attempt to break out of the formulaic box it is chained up inside of. Perhaps this is the reason the film isn’t scary. There were a few times I was mildly startled but never was I frightened by anything I saw. The potentially scariest scene in the film is in the trailer when Sister Irene is walking down a dark corridor, turns to look down a hallway (the camera turning with her) and turns back with a black-clad nun standing behind her. She is then attacked by Valak. While this scene has the potential to be a classic jump scare, it is wasted for having been in the trailer. I’ve probably seen the trailer for “The Nun” several more times than most as it’s part of my job doing reviews and a movie podcast. But one viewing of what could have been the biggest scare in a horror movie is enough to inoculate the audience, allowing them to build up a tolerance to the scene.

“The Nun” is rated R for terror, disturbing/bloody images and violence. I found the terror to be very mild, but my experience isn’t everyone’s. If you are easily frightened, then you should be prepared. We see the corpse of the nun that commits suicide after it has been hanging for a significant time. There are crows pecking at the body and the lower half of the face appears to have been eaten away. It is dripping blood. A reanimated corpse attacks and is killed (re-killed?) with a shotgun. Another reanimated corpse is set on fire and shot. Nuns gets thrown around a chapel with some dying of their injuries. An upside-down pentagram is carved by an unseen hand in the back of a character. A couple of characters are almost strangled and nearly drowned. A character is buried alive in a coffin then attacked inside the coffin by the demon. A character spits blood in the face of another. Foul language is very mild and limited to one or two uses.

“The Nun” joins “The Conjuring,” “The Conjuring 2,” “Annabelle” and “Annabelle: Creation” as the fifth film in the franchise. There are more films on the way as this series has made an enormous amount of money. The first four films with budgets totaling $81.5-million have made worldwide $1.2-billion. There are expenses over and above making the movie and studios get approximately 55% of the total box office. That means the profit from the four films so far is over $500-million. With audiences so willing to pay for the latest in the “Conjuring” universe, there may be movies coming at us for the next decade or so. “The Nun” is projected to have the biggest opening of any film in the series so far. I have to wonder if fans of the franchise will be disappointed in the lack of scares and flat story or if they will support the film so that more get made. I have to say, if the rest are like “The Nun,” I don’t want none.

“The Nun” gets one star out of five.

This week, I’ll be reviewing “A Simple Favor” for WIMZ.com.

Here’s what else is opening this week:

The Predator—

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50_Ala5BKBo (NSFW)

Unbroken: Path to Redemption—

White Boy Rick—

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